Monday, April 20, 2015

Some Things I Miss...

Since I've been living on a different planet lately, it only seems right to make a post about my sister and some things I miss. I can say now though that this definitely won't be the last. 
 The things I miss most about Brenna:

Obsessions with Quentin Tarantino films and characters. When we first watched Kill Bill together we were absolutely inthralled and it blew up from there... No one seemed to understand our undying love for those movie characters... Talk about being nerds.

Traveling and sharing our adventurous spirits.
Whenever it began to drive me absolutely crazy, not traveling, I always ran to her. We started right after she graduated high school and I took her on a long trip to Las Vegas and all along the west coast. We had lots of plans for more traveling, like visiting one of our best friends who lived 15 hours away. Our last trip together was planned spontaneously after a long planned motorcycle trip didn't work out as she'd hoped. That camping trip we spent together was one of the best times of my life. Thank you so much Brenna...

Watching horror films together and talking about them for days on end.
If there was one thing we might have been more nerdy about than Tarantino, it would have been horror films. We were huge critics and knew a good horror flick when we saw it.

Venting to each other and asking for advice on life.
If there's one thing I struggle with most now, it's not being able to ask her things like advice on life, especially now, when I feel I need it most... I still talk to her all the time, but her answers would always set me on the right track.

Sharing every random thought with each other, like a Twitter account.
Literally. still, today, I think about something random and awesome then think, "I should text Brenna about that!"

Planning weird, sporadic, party's together, like "indie brunch", countless wine and cheese parties, game nights, and girls nights with 80's movies and amazing food.

Someone to do photo shoots with and visa versa.
She was always taking photos for me and me for her. We hardly had any photos with the two of us in them, together, for that very reason.

Having a life jacket, safety net, and crutch all in one person.
Simply put, she was always there for me, no matter what.

Someone who got my insanity, weird jokes, style, and nonsense. She was always my go-to person. We would agree on the same things, laugh at the same things, wear the same things, and even explain to people about the other, like a dog who behaves a certain way and only the owner knows why. 

It feels so wrong that she's gone, but I feel like she's still there... somewhere, somehow. There's no way I could go on living if there wasn't the slightest hope of seeing her again someday. She was the closest person in the world to me and we had 25 years of secret sharing and memories together that I'll never forget.

 I have no idea how I'm going to go on living without you Brenna. I can't wait to see you again, soon, little sis. Always yours, xoxoxxo