Monday, April 20, 2015

Some Things I Miss...

Since I've been living on a different planet lately, it only seems right to make a post about my sister and some things I miss. I can say now though that this definitely won't be the last. 
 The things I miss most about Brenna:

Obsessions with Quentin Tarantino films and characters. When we first watched Kill Bill together we were absolutely inthralled and it blew up from there... No one seemed to understand our undying love for those movie characters... Talk about being nerds.

Traveling and sharing our adventurous spirits.
Whenever it began to drive me absolutely crazy, not traveling, I always ran to her. We started right after she graduated high school and I took her on a long trip to Las Vegas and all along the west coast. We had lots of plans for more traveling, like visiting one of our best friends who lived 15 hours away. Our last trip together was planned spontaneously after a long planned motorcycle trip didn't work out as she'd hoped. That camping trip we spent together was one of the best times of my life. Thank you so much Brenna...

Watching horror films together and talking about them for days on end.
If there was one thing we might have been more nerdy about than Tarantino, it would have been horror films. We were huge critics and knew a good horror flick when we saw it.

Venting to each other and asking for advice on life.
If there's one thing I struggle with most now, it's not being able to ask her things like advice on life, especially now, when I feel I need it most... I still talk to her all the time, but her answers would always set me on the right track.

Sharing every random thought with each other, like a Twitter account.
Literally. still, today, I think about something random and awesome then think, "I should text Brenna about that!"

Planning weird, sporadic, party's together, like "indie brunch", countless wine and cheese parties, game nights, and girls nights with 80's movies and amazing food.

Someone to do photo shoots with and visa versa.
She was always taking photos for me and me for her. We hardly had any photos with the two of us in them, together, for that very reason.

Having a life jacket, safety net, and crutch all in one person.
Simply put, she was always there for me, no matter what.

Someone who got my insanity, weird jokes, style, and nonsense. She was always my go-to person. We would agree on the same things, laugh at the same things, wear the same things, and even explain to people about the other, like a dog who behaves a certain way and only the owner knows why. 

It feels so wrong that she's gone, but I feel like she's still there... somewhere, somehow. There's no way I could go on living if there wasn't the slightest hope of seeing her again someday. She was the closest person in the world to me and we had 25 years of secret sharing and memories together that I'll never forget.

 I have no idea how I'm going to go on living without you Brenna. I can't wait to see you again, soon, little sis. Always yours, xoxoxxo


  1. Attempting to comment on that is like treading on sacred ground. You and Brenna had such a special relationship, I cannot imagine your heartache. I have three sisters & we have a close relationship, but nothing like what you describe; being so similar & sharing the same thoughts, a closeness that few people get to experience in this life. You are very blessed for that. I is so wrong that she is gone. So wrong that she didn't get to have her own coffee/ vintage motorcycle shop; didn't get to go on more adventures; didn't get to fulfill more dreams or experience having a baby or two or three. So wrong that all that creativity was cut short. So wrong that her nieces & nephews won't have her here to continue loving on them as they grow up. is so RIGHT that you guys had her in your lives for 25 years. So right that she got to grow up in a wonderful, loving family. So right that she had opportunities to create & learn & express herself. So right that she was loved & loved in profound ways. So right that she loved working at the bakery & sewing, throwing parties, drawing. So right that she loved & enjoyed her nieces & nephews so much. So right that she loved life with passion. So right that she got to refinish a vintage bike with your dad & that her t-shirt design was chosen for this years show. It is so right that she is with Jesus & we will certainly see her again. I love the photo you posted. She loves that bunny! I think of her often. I miss her smile! I miss the Dirty Hippies she made for one makes them like she did. If she were here Elizabeth, I think she would tell you to breathe, to live life to the full, to love on those precious babies, remember to smile & dream & never forget how to laugh. Treasure the memories you shared & I believe one day all this pain will blossom into something more beautiful than you can imagine as you will have opportunities to share this treasure with a hurting world; in fact, you already are. She was wonderful & my life is more beautiful because I knew her. I treasure you as well are a light just like she was. <3

    1. Thank you Paula, that means so much!💗 it's really amazing to see all the good come out of things, in the end, after such an awful thing. Thanks again for your beautiful words💖

  2. Elizabeth, I agree with Paula... she expressed that very beautifully.

    I am so touched by your love for Brenna and her love for you. Because of all that, we got to know her and loved her, too ... not often enough, but in those special times we were together. Like the night you brought her with you to meet us and eat a late supper; like the day she was helping with photography at Michele's wedding; like when you and David first got married and you all came to Saratoga so the band could play at POWER AT THE PAVILION; like your party in the park after you were married; like Darby's birthday party this year. And Liz, I loved that you shared family outings and photos on your blog. I would save them and print many of them out. Brenna was usually in the middle of those. I am glad you two took a lot of pictures.

    We love you and your little family ... and your big extended family that took us all in and made us feel like a part of it.

    Most of all ... you are very dear to us, and in our prayers every day, that the Holy Spirit, the Comforter, will be right there with you whenever you are missing Brenna.

    I am glad David grew up and married such an awesome bride, and has such beautiful kids!

    Love, Grammy

    1. Thank you Grammy! I couldn't have done any of this without your wonderful grandson. You all are amazing!

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