Grown Up Me

It's sometimes shocking to me when I think of where I am now. How did I get here and when did I grow up? Even though I still feel like a kid, I have to stop and remind myself at times that, no I'm not fifteen any more, I'm a twenty three year old adult, and mom. If you haven't had kids yet, and you think your childhood is flashing before your eyes, just wait! I was asked countless times, when I was younger, what I wanted to be when I grew up. My answeres usually varried with age, but I always had BIG dreams in mind: Doctor, Flight Attendant, Dancer, Artist, Writer. If you would have told my five year old self what my future would be like, I don't know if I would have believed it. As I got older my goals changed. I wanted to go to school for welding and machinery right out of high school. And ended up working as a machinist full time for a few years until my goals shifted once again and I had the yearning to go back to school. So, I started working part time at a bakery, was a part time collage student, met my husband, quit my job, and became a stay-at-home mama. I couldn't tell you exactly what my five year old self would say, if you told her, but this is where my life ended up and I don't think I would have it any other way. Now I wonder what's in store for my son. What will he become? Who will he strive to be? This quote is so crazy to think about.


"For children, childhood is timeless. It is always the present. Everything is in the present tense. Of course, they have memories. Of course, time shifts a little for them and Christmas comes 'round in the end. But they don’t feel it. Today is what they feel, and when they say ‘When I grow up,’ there is always an edge of disbelief - how could they ever be other than what they are?"

 -IAN MCEWAN

When I was little it was always fun to play around and dream about what I could be, but the thought of actually growing up and doing it seemed unreal. The time flew by with a blink of an eye and my childhood seems like a quick murmur. Thinking back on how many childhood memories I have helps it seem not so short. As I get older I find myself saying how much quicker time seems to fly. I don't know why that happens when you age. Maybe because it becomes harder to enjoy the simple things and details in a rushed life. Or because we actually begin to care about time slipping away. Either way the last twenty three years are interesting to look back on. And I wonder what my five year old self would think if I never became all those things I once imagined. Would she still be happy with what I've accomplished? Would she be proud of where I am? 

I would have to say Yes. Even if I didn't do the things I once dreamed I think that all those hopes and dreams have made me what I am today and it's something better than anything I could have hoped for.